WASHINGTON D.C. - In an effort to stem the tide of racial discord caused by a videotape of Barrack Obama’s pastor Rev. Jeremiah Wright, Jr. giving a sermon in which he proclaimed that Hillary Clinton “has never been called a [N-Word]” and presumably that Barrack Obama has never been called a “Rich White Person”, Democratic Party leadership today took the unprecedented step of proving “once and for all, who is “white” and who is “black” in the race for the Democratic nomination.
Using paint strips from Home Depot and a photo of American Idol Judge, Randy Jackson as a reference, the DNC demonstrated for the press corps today that neither Obama nor Clinton is actually white or black, and therefore neither is deserving of being called either a [N-Word] or a ”rich white person”.
“The results are clearly disappointing”, a spokesperson for the party said. “We knew Barrack was half-black but we were sure Hillary was both rich and white . . . and also a lesbian. Judging by Clinton’s grey-green skin, it appears that Hillary is like Barrack, the product of interracial heritage – probably Martian and Irish”, the party spokesperson said. “You know the Irish; they get all drunk and they’ll [F-word] anything with a pulse and a hole. Just look at the Kennedy’s!”
During a sermon on Christmas Day last year, Obama’s pastor, Jeremiah Wright said, “Barack knows what it means, living in a country and a culture that is controlled by rich white people. Hillary can never know that. Hillary ain’t never been called a [N-word]!”
A Clinton spokesperson who also declined to be identified answered the charge by stating that Hillary did however, know what it was like to be called a “monster”, “Martian”, “dyke”, “lesbian”, the “mother of whore” and “wife of a philanderer”.
Conversely, the “paint-chip” test revealed that the Rev. Jeremiah Wright was actually the “whitest” of them all.
