ASHEVILLE, N.C. - The Rev. Billy Graham, who according to this reporters sources already died once last year at age 88, underwent brain surgery Wednesday to update a shunt that controls excess fluid in his brain, circuitry that controls the servos in his limbs and an oil change. Larry Ross, a spokesman said Graham was recovering well despite the fact that after Graham died last year his body was used to create a cyborg (part man, part machine) that was intended to become the ultimate evangelist. The only problem was, he still retained his love for corned-beef and hash which "just gummed up the works", according to Ross.
The Southern Baptist minister had preached to millions around the globe during his six-decade career before dying the first time in 2006. Surgeons had replaced Graham's entire body with the suit Peter Weller wore in RoboCop which explains why he is not actually dead today. Graham suffers from hydrocephalus, a buildup of fluid within the brain. The shunt installed in 2000 drains excessive fluid from Graham's brain through a small tube that runs down his head and neck and into an oil filler where the fluid is then mixed with 10W/30 Quaker State.
